This is a cautionary tale.
But first, 2008 has got off to a bad start - the stock market has crashed, the US has a an election coming up, I pulled a muscle running along the beach alongside the Great Southern Ocean, fruit and vegetable prices are set to rise, the planet is in deep pain, more people than ever have lost it - so do your best to stay sane.
By now you are wondering why the little pic above.
It's a Squamous Cell Carcinoma (SCC).
While in Albany, home of whales, deep on the south coast of Western Australia, I decided to visit a local doctor and ask him to check the lump on my arm.
He said: Mmm, looks nasty. It's a Squamous Cell Carcinoma,
I said: Yeah, what are you going to do about it?
He said: I could cut it off for you.
I said: What, the arm?
I said: Go for it.
He did, like a butcher: in went the knife, one straight line, no artistry, slash.
Brilliant, I thought, I could do with another manly scar.
Eight days later, in I go, out come the stitches and I leave town.
Five kilometres up the major highway, splut, the wound opens, flesh reveals itself, blood flows.
Here's what I learnt:
- keep applying sun screen
- insist on retaining stitches until they fade
- don't go to butchers for cancer removals
- remind myself that whatever happens, George W Bush is done for
The cut has healed.
It has healed nicely.
The butcher organised a better scar than first look suggested.
In fact, I will no longer refer to him as "the butcher".
Henceforth he is "the nice bloke who cut the cancer out of my arm".
All right, I know, a bit long.
What about: Quarti Tunis?
(I have no idea where that came from.)
As for you, get your spots CHECKED TODAY!